Thursday, 29 November 2012

Goodbye racing, hello life!

The last races of the season are now over. Austin was awesome and I spent way too much money on cowboy boots, clothes and peanut butter m&ms! Americans are so enthusiastic, even about things like f1 which they don't really know anything about. I packed to go away with summer clothes and it ended up being freezing there! An excuse to buy more jumpers :)
Then onto Brazil where we should have got a 1-2 but these things happen. I hope Lewis does well with his new team.

Brazil was my last race in F1. I am now back to being factory based from next year and am looking forward to getting my life back. I can now get back into photography and see my friends and spend time with people when I want to.

It's been an experience. Being the only girl amongst 40 guys was tough at times but you get used to it and I've learnt a lot about men! And I thought girls were bad!!!!
The last 2 years has been a huge roller coaster. I started the job blindly and 2 years later have gained a lot of experience as well as visited countries I never would have had the chance to go to. I've met a few great people and a few, not so great... But overall it's been interesting!
I'm glad I finally had the opportunity to do what I wanted to do and experienced the madness of racing.

I'm totally shattered now, physically and mentally... And am going to Burma for 3 weeks for Xmas to chill ou and explore. I cannot wait.
The new year brings new beginnings and I'm going to find new challenges. Who knows what 2013 brings...



On BBC Sport website back in October


Bye bye Lewis 


With Jenson 


Me trying not to get run over in the pitlane


Add caption


Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Been a while...

It's been a while since I've had 5 minutes to write anything down...
I travelled 6 countries in 5 weeks in September and I came back absolutely shattered. Starting in Singapore, then Malaysia and Cambodia on holiday then back to work in Japan and Korea. After a week in Japan, it felt like I never had a holiday. Cambodia is not a relaxing holiday. Well, not the one I had anyway. It was full of exploring and emotion. Once back from Korea, I landed at about 6am and caught a flight that afternoon to Tunisia to chill out. And that's exactly what I did for 5 days. Doing this job, I cannot explain the emotional, physical and exhaustion that you feel when you get home. There is nothing I can compare it to to explain it.

2 weeks later and I have been working on India and Abu Dhabi time. Starting work at 3am and finishing at about 2pm makes you feel like you have jetlag without even going anywhere. Going to work when its dark and going to bed when it's light. I have enough trouble trying to sleep as it is, let alone when its not supposed to be bedtime!

So, Japan.... It was nice to go back to Japan and fill up my suitcase full of sweets and food :) I was also surprised, again at the adoration the fans have for F1. People should not forget that that those fans are what keeps the sport going in some countries and although may seem totally fanatical, it's nice to know that there are people out there who are so into what we do.
I had a few fans come and talk to me to say hello and one had made me a paper fan with my picture on! I also received lots of Japanese sweets. It was quite a shock that anyone even knows who I am.

I've now finally got to spend a few weeks at home, although all I have done is work and sleep! But its nice to be able to come home after work and be in my own space. I haven't had time to catch up with people I want to see due to my weird hours lately, but hopefully that'll soon change.

I went to see Skyfall the other day in a cool cinema which has sofas in. For the first time ever, I went to the cinema, fell asleep and woke up at the end. So I still haven't seen it... :( Very annoying, but just shows how long it takes to recover from working constantly and being totally shattered beyond belief.

I've been trying to edit my photos from my trips when I can but there are so many I still haven't got through them all. A lot of Cambodia pics can now be seen on my flickr page. www.flickr.com/steppy1980
I'm a perfectionist when it comes to photography... and I'm still frustrated that I can't take the photos I want to take most of the time. I'll get there eventually... I'm planning to go on holiday again when the season is over for about 3 weeks. We are still yet to find the perfect destination, but Vietnam is a possibility. I know that I'm going to need a secluded beach, a hammock, lots of sun and a bit of exploring :) Any suggestions?
Problem with travelling in December is that flights double in price... I'm going to have to keep searching...

So the last leg of this years travels is almost here. In the next week, I will be in America and then Brazil. I've only ever been to Vegas so I'm quite looking forward to seeing another part of America... and eating big fat cheesecake, and visiting an Apple store :) It's the little things... :) Then onto Brazil to eat lots of meat and look forward to a month off and getting my life back.

There's a lot of changes going on in my life yet again. This time more confusing. I need to decide where my life is going and what to do with it. I've always been one who is capable of many little things but never have one thing that stands out. Like, most people can say they are good at drawing, or mathematics or science... but me... ermm, I'm good at eating, does that count? I need to find that one thing and learn to do it well. Or do I... who knows...  I need to look for more challenges and I have a feeling 2013, which is fast approaching, will be a year of many changes.

“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.”  
Mary Anne Radmacher Hershey

Angkor Wat at sunrise

Kids from a Cambodian village posing

Cambodian Village

Me at Angkor Wat














Thursday, 27 September 2012

Siem Reap Day 2

Got up at half 4 today to go and catch the sunrise at Angkor Wat. I left my room to find the hotel had locked all it's doors and all the staff were asleep on the beds by the pool... I felt bad having to wake them up but did so that I could get out and meet my guide for the next 2 days.
While researching Cambodia a few weeks ago I read a blog by a canadian man who had been to Cambodia a few times a long time ago and met a tuktuk driver who took an interest in his camera. He let him use his camera and found that he had an eye for good pictures so next time he went, he took him a camera as a present. From then on this tuktuk driver learnt as much as he could about photography and went on to take amazing photographs. This mans name is Kimleng Sang and I found his details on the Internet and booked him for 2 days.
I met Kimleng outside the hotel and we made our way down pitch back streets to Angkor Wat. I had no idea what to expect. The rain yesterday had caused trees to fall down and flooding so it was very wet on the potholed roads to Angkor Wat. We walked up to the temple using his phone as a torch. I could see a huge black building in front of me with some towers. So we stood in front of it and Kimleng had brought his tripod so that I could use it to photograph the sunrise, so we set up and waited... 10 mins later the sky got lighter and an amazing temple stood before me. I've never had the opportunity to try to take photographs of something so amazing. Even my iPhone would have produced amazing pictures. I am looking forward to looking at these when I get home!

We moved around, away from all the other tourists and took photos from different angles. I hope I get some good pictures!

After taking dozens of pictures we went to a local place to have coffee. I wanted to ask for a latte but thought they might just say "what?" so just ordered a coffee. Kimleng had an iced coffee which looked yummy, so I made up my mind to order that next time!

We spent the day driving in his tuktuk to the various temples and taking photographs. Kimleng is an amazing photographer and pretty much self taught. He is also very patient and when I was getting frustrated with not being able to work out the right settings he would help me and be spot on every time. He took me on side routes away from the tourists and if the tourists were going in one entrance we'd walk through a forest to get to another where we could take photographs without hundreds of tourists in the way. we went to a couple of small temple entrances where there were no tourists as normal guides don't tend to go there. We climbed up rocks for him to show me different angles for photographs and a different perspective to a scene that every other person was taking a photograph of. One thing I want to learn more about in photography is lighting and Kimleng manages to spot a good photograph with amazing lighting wherever he goes. he taught me a lot today about finding different perspectives and using lighting. I didn't realise I was going to learn so much from him!

I took a photograph of a trees roots over the temple... Looked pretty cool to me... Then Kimleng told me to climb up about 2 foot and stand on a rock, I did, and suddenly I had a totally different photo. Water appeared from nowhere and I now had an amazing reflection of the tree and the temple, making a totally different scene.

Enough about photography, for now... The temples are something else. It amazes me that these buildings were built with so much detail and so many of them. It took them 37 years to complete but even 37 years seems short if you look at the vastness of this place. a few of them are currently being restored and I liked hearing that other countries were restoring them. Japan and India being 2 of the ones I saw.
The facts and stories about Angkor Wat are very interesting whether you are religious or not. I imagine that if you are a Buddhist this place would be even more of a massive interest to you.
I'm glad I went to the museum yesterday as I learnt a bit about what certain things meant and the symbolism of some of the temples and it's features. Although Kimleng is very knowledgable and explained lots of things to me.
The detail on the walls of the temples are amazing. Some of them are so intricate you wonder how they did it. in fact I don't even know how they did it. That's something I want to find out

I would love to have seen Angkor Wat when it was built and be an invisible person wondering around and looking at the temples and their running back then. I always say that about London too. I'd love to walk around there too in about 1910/1920 and see how things were.

Cambodian children are beautiful. Fact.
Every single one I have seen has the most amazing eyes and smiles. I love taking portraits of people, mostly when they aren't looking, and it's so easy to get a good photo of these kids. You just have to press the shutter. In fact i prefer taking photos of these kids looking at me, for once, as they all have amazing eyes!

Someone told me I had to try the pineapple on a stick whilst in Cambodia. I found one of these today and was so happy! A whole (mini) pineapple cut and put on a stick. Yum yum! I stupidly got it just after a massive lunch so couldn't finish it, but at Angkor temple I was mesmerised by two poor children looking through bins for used water bottles to sell. They were sisters. The younger one couldn't have been more than about 2 years old, following her older sister around in her pretty little dirty dress. I kept turning around to take photos of them then remembered I still had pineapple left. I took it to the older sister who stood in front of me, staring at me with her hands together for minutes to say thank you. it was the sweetest thing. her younger sister then started crying as she wasn't sharing her pineapple so Kimleng told them to share and they both carried on walking munching on their bits of pineapple. They were the cutest kids ever. I have loads of photos of the younger sister who I was mesmerised by. I wish I could have taken them home!
Later on, I met another small boy who was trying to sell me bracelets. I wouldn't buy them as Kimleng told me if I buy from kids it just shows them they don't need to go to school as they can earn money instead so to buy from adults. Not that I can buy anything as my suitcase is fully jammed with work clothes! anyway this kid tried to give me a bracelet after I said no repeatedly and said I want to give it to you. I said no, but he hooked it on my camera and stepped away. I tried to give it back to him and said he should try to sell it to someone not give it to me, but he refused to take it and told me not to forget him. I'll wear that bracelet and think of him and hope he is doing well.

For lunch I tried a typical Cambodian dish, amok fish curry and rice. The food was yummy. We also ordered fried eggplant and i tried the chilli pork which was also good.
I found some amok curry spices yesterday with a recipe so that I can take it back and try cooking it with my lovely other half who raves about Cambodia and wanted the curry!

I am now back at my hotel in my bright orange hotel room, chilling. Wondering whether to go out and try and find food or just to go to sleep! We spent 12 hours exploring today and it was pretty tiring, especially in the heat. It rained for about 10 minutes at lunchtime and after the rain, the heat became quite overbearing.

So, this pol pot dictator... I need to learn more, but I was told about when he was around. Back when he was leading, apparently people from this regime would come to the houses and ask the children what their mummy's had been cooking. If they replied chicken or beef or anything other than mouse/snail etc, they would come into the house and the family would be shot for eating well. Educated people were killed, rows of girls and boys were taken into the street and told right you're marrying the boy over there and if they refused, they'd be killed. There's many more stories and they are despicable. I'm very interested in learning much more about Cambodia and I'll be coming back again with greater knowledge of the place.
Even now, some of the people from this regime still run in government and the stories I hear and the things that I can see here, I do not agree with at all. I wish the world could be a better place.

I am looking forward to getting my photos onto my laptop when I get back to the UK and seeing how they have come out. I hope I manage to capture the amazingness of this place somehow.










Siem Reap Day 1

I arrived in Siem Reap at 07:50 thinking, I have no US dollars, I have no idea how much a taxi is going to cost so I might get ripped off and I have no idea about anything about this country...
Stepped off the plane and straight into the Visa queue. Got a visa for $25 and off I went. Outside, you can get a motorbike taxi anywhere for $2. As I only had a rucksack I decided to do that as it sounded more fun than a car or a tuktuk! (there's a cash point in the airport... Phew!)
Got to my hotel and had arranged to meet a guide a few hours later so chilled out for a bit. It's so hot here'. You walk out of air con and you're sweating.

I met my guide at 11. He took me to Tonle Sap lake and sent me off on a boat ride. The guys told me it was $25 for about 2 hours. After paying it I realised I should have haggled. Oh well, you live and learn. The boat trip was awesome. Saw the locals living on their boats and stilt houses. The lake was like the sea. Huge. It's about 55km across in rainy season, which is now.
We passed a floating orphanage school where the kids parents had passed away due to illness from the water or they had left the kids behind and moved on. This was pretty sad to hear.
On the way back they stopped at a community food centre and told me I could buy food and take it to the orphanage. I wanted to do that... Until they tried to make me pay $85 for a sack of rice. I could send it from England cheaper than that! I asked about a bag of sweets instead which was about 10 packets of small crisps. $5 I was told. I'm not paying $5 for a few crisps to take to a load of kids where it's not even going to go around 10 of them... I felt really bad not buying anything but the prices were ridiculous. It's not like I'm a rich westerner who has money to burn. Even if i was, thats just absurd! After that the feeling I got from the guide was that they didn't like it that I hadn't bought anything and I couldn't wait to get off the boat. when getting off talk of tips started and because they went on at me when they'd already made me feel bad I didn't want to leave anything. I didn't know if leaving just a dollar was being offensive but after paying $25 for 2 hours I didn't see the justification anymore. Bearing in mind my tuktuk guide was $15 for most of the day!
I left them feeling guilty but I didn't like that they became rude because I didn't do what they wanted.
After meeting my guide again we drove back towards the city and I went to the Angkor Wat museum to find out what the meaning of all these temples was.
It was interesting but I was shattered from only having slept an hour the night before and working weird hours in Singapore, plus the heat didnt help!

Following this we drive to the killing fields and learnt about Pol Pot. A disgusting dictator. I need to read up more on the goings on of Cambodia. But this man was terrible. More on him later.

In the evening I went to a local restaurant which was a Cambodian buffet with Cambodian dancing. The food was good and I ate as I sat watching the tens of little lizards crawling across the ceiling! the dance show was good, if a little slow! But a good insight into the culture, clothing and dance.
By this point I wanted my bed and I had to be up at 4:45am to see the sunrise at Angkor Wat the next day so I went back and chilled at the hotel pool bar for a little while. It was then I heard thunder... 5 mins later and I thought the trees were going to come flying at me and the hotel staff were rushing around madly trying not to let the hotel flood. A rain storm had begun and it's the craziest rain I've ever seen! it was like someone had opened up the clouds and instantly all the water in the sky decided to drop down!
I sat watching it and listening to the thunder for a while, while skyping home to show them the rain! then decided I better go to bed before I got soaked! The 2 seconds I had to walk outside to get to my room got me drenched!

All in all I found my first day in Cambodia pretty hard. Being on my own and not strong willed enough to brush people off or be rude got to me a bit and I felt a bit worried about the rest of my stay. Hopefully tommorow will be a better day!

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Travel list - 1st check!

I have made it to one of the countries on my travel list! I have just arrived in Cambodia-Siem Reap.
I flew from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur for the night then onto Siem Reap. Spent the day shopping in some oversized mall and ended up buying a bigger memory card, a filter and a camera bag. All because of my over excitedness about my trip to Cambodia! My main reason to come here is to explore and take photos. I'm only here for 3 days and have hired a photographer/tuktuk driver for 2 days! Hoping he can take me to some cool places, having a shared interest and learn off each other!
I found him on a photographers blog funnily enough. This guy had come out to Cambodia a few years back and hired a tuktuk and the driver seemed interested in the camera so long story short, he let him have a go and ended up buying him a camera and getting him proper training! Looking forward to meeting him!

I booked some cheap hotel in KL and forgot to really look at location.... As I was in the room for a total of 6 hours it wasn't a bother but the area was like a little India. That place definitely isn't making it to my travel list!
I got a cab at 3am to go to the airport and got quite a shock. Right, religion...
Actually I'm not going to go off on that right now... Im too tired and I want to go exploring. Basically the taxi driver was a Muslim man in full attire. Nothing wrong with that. I'm in a Muslim country. But playing chants... For the hour journey to the airport in your taxi? Not just chants... Shouting... about how Allah is the greatest. Telling me i belong to him, everything belongs to him... Not telling, shouting. I even tried paying attention but he was shouting at a hundred words per second.
Each to their own, and I'm interested in people's beliefs... But i wasn't impressed by what I heard. more on religion another time... !!

It's so HOT here. you walk outside and break out in a sweat. And I'm not sure how to dress. Im going to temples.... So I should dress respectfully but it's so hot!!!!! I think i need to leave my gold sequin bikini top and pink hot pants in my suitcase and bear the heat in trousers and t-shirts....
By the way... For those who don't know me... I am joking. but the thought of going out in this heat in trousers and long sleeve tops makes me hot just thinking about it. hmmmm I'll have to compromise somehow...

Time to go out and bear the heat!

Monday, 24 September 2012

Never any normality

Just finished what felt like the longest race ever. Doing Singapore is fun but tiring due to the time changes. We start the week in Singapore time then half way through switch to European time...so dealing with jet lag and working is not the most pleasant experience. Also means that when the week is over, like now, and I'm on holiday.... I can't SLEEP!!!!

I've stayed out in Singapore and am at sentosa island. I'm going exploring for a few days though. Off to Kuala Lumpur today then Cambodia tommorow. I'm so excited about going to take photos in Siem Reap. I've hired a tuktuk driver/photographer to take me to Angkor Wat and booked the most random hotel I can find :)

My life's changed so much in a year. A year ago I would have been too scared to go off travelling alone and exploring random places, my head was in a different place. I'm now excited about finding new things and can't wait to get to Cambodia!

Now i have a few countries to visit and a few weeks work to do!

Will update on Cambodia in a few days!
If anyone has been to Cambodia and can recommend anywhere to visit, please comment!! Thanks :)

Monday, 10 September 2012

Ciao

I'm in Italy! It's 1am and I have a flight home to catch in 4 hours and I cannot sleep. This is becoming a regular occurrence. Maybe it's all the pasta I've eaten this week!
I'm lying here in my 70's decor hotel room feeling like I'm lying on a plank of wood and frustrated that my eyes won't go to sleeeeeeep!!! My body is telling me I am absolutely shattered but my brain doesn't seem to want to listen.

I'm in a part of Italy I've never been to before... There's not much around... Lots of trees and a LOT of Mosquitos and funny green insects.
The food has been really good and I've enjoyed having lots of different pasta. It feel like ages ago that we were sat having a coffee after arriving... And that was only 4 days ago.

It's funny how life changes when you least expect or without you even realising. Things seem to have taken a 180degree turn in my life. I realised that what I thought I wanted wasn't actually what I wanted and turned out to be something i judged completely wrong. And something made me quickly realise that. And I'm so glad it did. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. It certainly has in my experience! If certain things hadn't happened, I'd never be where I'm at right now!
I'm smiling lots and can't wait to get back to the UK. I have a few days to make the most of before we start our Asian stint. It's going to be a long 4 weeks!

Anyway, last week, we found a derelict cinema which has been derelict for about 5 years. We went photographing and exploring. It was awesome to explore and find everything still in its place, although most things broken and falling apart. My photos didn't come out so well as I was slightly distracted by my thoughts but it was yet another experience to learn from in terms of photography.
I need to find another place to explore now. :)

I can't wait to be back home in my own bed again! I need to be in front of a good film and chilling out :)

Thursday, 30 August 2012

My 3 lessons....

It's been a weird month. Since the last race I've got back into being based in the UK for a while and it feels like I've been back here for ages now. Feels like forever ago that I was in Hungary!

I've also learnt a few lessons. In life and technically!
I believe that you create your own destiny. If you want something, you have to go and get it. If you don't, or you choose the wrong actions, you only have yourself to blame. That goes for everything that's been going on in my life over the last month.
First thing I've learnt is never be fooled by perception. You can have a perception of something but actually it ends up being something totally the opposite. I have learnt that I am too quick to judge a book by it's cover and not get to know what's really inside, in this case, no words. I'll remember to look beyond the cover in future and reveal the true words!

Secondly I've been on a few training courses. One of which was an IT related one and the other being Photography. I loved the photography one. I finally got to learn what I'm actually doing rather than thinking I can dodge the manual and pick it up as I go along. 2 years of doing that and I eventually realised I needed some guidance! I'm not good with manuals. I'm too impatient to sit and read about it... I just want to do it!

Since doing the course I've been actively looking for things to photograph. And I've found that as soon as I've started to look, more things are jumping out :) I've still got a way to go before I'll be happy with my photographs but I'm hoping I'll get there soon enough.  I'm probably annoying everyone around me, constantly looking for something to take photos of, but everywhere I go, I see a frame for an awesome photograph. I have to practise until the day I can look at a scene and think "this is what I want it to look like", snap a pic and it looks exactly how I imagined it in my head.

Last weekend I went to London for the weekend, to get away for a bit and smile and laugh. It was awesome, and it worked :) Lots of smiles, dancing, chatting, chilling and a "few" drinks :) I actually made it a whole night in heels! What an achievement. haha The dirty chicken burger/kebab on the way home is never a good idea... why did I not remember this from my uni days!

My 3rd lesson was as I said in the beginning, to concentrate on my goals in life. Having had many thoughts over the last month about various things, I realised I need to be more proactive about what I want and what I don't. I need to stop wasting time on things that don't make me happy and make more time for the things that do! So, I'm now on a mission to continue taking lots of photos, see more of the world when I can and photograph it, surprise surprise, and see old and new friends more and have lots of fun times. The last few weeks has been awesome. I've met new people and caught up with the old.

I have found that over the last year, things that I haven't been happy about have led me to finding new things which do make me happy. I've been and explored new places, seen new things, eaten new foods and met lots of amazing people along the way and some, not so amazing!

So thank you to all the bad experiences and people/things that have caused them over the last year... without them, I wouldn't have experienced all the amazing things I've found because of them :)

Anyway enough of my babbling... my next stint of travelling starts again soon and it's going to be a long one. 4 countries in 5 weeks and the lack of my own bed for that long too. But, I get to go to some cool places and eat lots of nice food and fill up my suitcase with random Japanese sweets so it makes it worth it :) Being away from it for a while, makes me forget about the long hours, working in a garage full of boys and the constant pressure... but I'll keep living in dreamland until the day I have to go again! :)

Here's a couple of pictures I took last night of someone I work with, who is amazing with fire! :)







“I demolish my bridges behind me...then there is no choice but to move forward” 
Fridtjof Nansen











Monday, 13 August 2012

A picture tells a thousand words

I am SO excited.
I have just booked a photography course for the next two days to go and learn the basics of photography and then to go out and learn how to take better photographs. All in my favourite part of London, Southbank.
The photographs I have seen from the tutor are amazing and he seems to have the same style of photography that I want to be able to do.
I don't like taking normal photographs. I like taking photographs of unusual things, or not even unusual things, but what would normally be boring things but making them look interesting with different light, backgrounds or focuses. I don't like taking portrait photos of people looking directly at the camera. I prefer to catch them unaware as you capture real emotion that way. As soon as you say "Hey, look at me", peoples expressions change as they stare into your lens. Some embarrassed and not knowing where to look, wishing I would go away and others loving the lens and making all sorts of faces.

I've never been one to read a manual. Since buying a camera, I've been too impatient to sit and learn the technicalities of it. I prefer to learn by experimenting, which is what I have been doing for the past 2 years but recently I've had less and less time and my camera has been sat gathering dust.
I thank the various people who have tried to explain what the shutter speed and aperture etc are and how to calculate them... numbers and I do not mix well. But I appreciate the help and I did try to listen... it just didn't sink in. You all gave me lots of motivation to experiment though :)
I'm hoping now that I have a little time and a renewed motivation to try to capture a photograph without doing any post-processing, the next two days will further my knowledge so that I can finally understand what I'm doing and take a couple of pictures and get what I want instead of taking hundreds of pictures at lots of different settings.

What you can do with a flash amazes me. I am not interested in using a flash to light up my subject. I'm interested in learning how the flash can effect the subject and make different affects on objects/lighting/scenery.

I have a plan to take more random courses here and there, when I can, to try to learn as much as I can so that eventually, I can take a photograph and know exactly what I'm doing and capture the image and upload it without having to put it in Lightroom to "make it look better".

Anyone can be a photographer. I saw a photograph on Twitter which was a photograph used on the front page of a newspaper, taken by a spectator of the Olympics with his Iphone. I don't want to be just a photographer. I guess I want to be an artist. To create images that aren't like anyone elses' and that people wonder where and how I did it. It's going to take a long time but it's something I've wanted to do for a long time..and I'll get there eventually... hopefully... and yes, I know everyone says that... Personal goal. ;)
This leads me on to my question about Art. I have never understood Art. Who judges that a piece of Art is worth millions of pounds? I may like it, but you may not. So how can it be decided that one piece of art is different to another?

Anyway I better go to bed and wake up bright and early to get upto London to start my journey into the art world :)







Sunday, 12 August 2012

Things that go bump in the night...

The last few weeks have been eventful.

I saw a quote on my friends facebook which was "One of life's hardest decisions is to decide whether to try harder or walk away". Very relevant in my thinking at the moment. And I think that if you have to make a conscious effort to try harder it means the sensible decision is to walk away. So onwards with my journey I go.

So... I went to see Woman in Black in the theatre yesterday. I was a bit sceptic as to whether a 2 man show would entertain me. I have a tendency to start thinking about other things and lose concentration if there's lots of talking and not much else going on. Especially with a play. I love musicals. If I had to start my life again I would continue to learn how to sing and dance and be trying hard to get on stage. I am in awe of anyone who has a natural talent to be able to sing, pick up an instrument and play what they like. I wish I could.

Anyway this play was amazing. At first I was wondering how 2 men on a stage could make reviewers say they were scared and jumped lots. It's a play in a play and the acting was awesome in the sense that they make the audience use their imagination, subconsciously, to set the scenes.

It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, being a complete wimp when it comes to horror. When I was younger, I would watch horror films and be to scared to go up the stairs to go to bed and would be constantly on the look out for ghosts and zombies coming to get me. In a sense I guess I am still the wimp that I was. I can't watch a horror and be alone. Otherwise my imagination takes over and I scare myself.
I think it's ghosts that scare me... It's the fear of the unknown I guess.
In Japan, in August they have a festival called Obon, which is according to Wikipedia:

Obon (お盆?) or just Bon (盆?) is a Japanese Buddhist custom to honor the spirits of one's ancestors. This Buddhist-Confucian custom has evolved into a family reunion holiday during which people return to ancestral family places and visit and clean their ancestors' graves, and when the spirits of ancestors are supposed to revisit the household altars. It has been celebrated in Japan for more than 500 years and traditionally includes a dance, known as Bon-Odori.

If I was in Japan at this time, I would be scared and although I'd take part in the activities surrounding it, I would be constantly scared of what was actually going on. It didn't help that the leading 3 days to the festival they show constant ghost stories and horror on TV and horror in Japan is pretty scary. I once read a Japanese book which was a ghost story about a girl who read a ghost story and it happened that if you read the book, you would be cursed and would end up in the same situation. I finished the book and it told me that now I had read it, the same thing was going to happen to me. I spent the next few weeks petrified. Bearing in mind I was about 12, I think now that that was a bit harsh that a child's' book should make me feel like that!
I have a few strange fears, which I am petrified of but although I am scared I like to find out more. Ghosts are one of them. I hate the fear surrounding ghosts, but I'm interested in hearing ghost stories and seeing random photos of the so-called unknown etc... weird. Snakes is another thing. I hate snakes... and I couldn't have one of those things draped around me, but I could stand and watch them for hours, mesmerised.

My friend and I visited a theme park in Japan and one of the attractions was a ghost house. We made it in the first door and saw a woman with long black hair and white make up making her way very slowly against the wall, towards us. We stood in fear for about 5-10 minutes trying to go through the door into the house, but didn't make it. We ran out screaming which led the tiny Japanese girls behind us to follow us out, screaming. What a bunch of wimps.

Anyway, if you get a chance to see Woman in Black, it's worth a watch. :) I'd write more about it but then I'd be giving it away :)







Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Spaghetti ice cream and shiny things

My 2 races after a while off and I got back into things better than I thought I would! You seem to forget tiredness when away and just get on with it!
Since visiting Germany last month I've had an obsession with spaghetti ice cream. I vowed to find some in Hockenheim but failed.
Hockenheim was in the middle of nowhere. Our hotel had fields around it and a big SAP building, and thats about it. We walked into the local little town some evenings for food and the town was a new but old looking place. I wish I'd had my camera. Cobbled streets with wonky houses and a few restaurants here and there. The food was all really good and it was nice wandering around there and taking a walk back to the hotel.

After the race on Sunday we headed to Hungary the next morning and had the afternoon off. Our hotel was adjoined to a shopping mall so guess what I did l that afternoon... :) I found lots of shiny things which I couldn't resist buying. Bit of an obsession with jewellery at the moment. On a different note, check out Stephen Websters jewellery. Awesome! My current favourite!
Anyway the mall was a bit crazy. The top floors were all pretty normal but the basement was full of random bright coloured illuminous things. And the staff were all really friendly. I had one girl chat to me as if I were a long long friend and proceeded to show me a bruise on her leg from a boat trip last week... Ermmmm ok. Should have sent the boys down there, I'm sure they would have appreciated all the girls chatting more than I did!

That night we all had burgers and beer at the hotel to celebrate the fastest pitstop of 2.3 seconds.

Then it was back to building a garage again for the 2nd time in 2 weeks.

I've never had goulash before. To me, it sounded weird. But one of my friends told me to try it so I thought I'd better find some Hungarian food this week. We found a quaint little Hungarian restaurant with a pianist in the corner and walls covered in old newspapers and random things stuck to the wall. I loved the interior, will have to remember that as I'd like to decorate a room like that someday! I had venison goulash and were told to try a cheese paste thing for starters. It was all pretty good. I'm a bit fussy with meat and hadn't really had venison before but it was better than I expected. Still prefer beef though!
That night I found spaghetti ice cream. The guys I was with must have thought I was mental being so excited about some horrible looking plate of pasta that contained ice cream. Got them hooked on it too tho :) I can't remember if I mentioned it before but it's ice cream that looks like a bowl of pasta, but it's just spaghetti shaped ice cream with cream in the middle and strawberry sauce on top! Yum!!

The last two weeks has gone pretty quick in a way. I've had lots of nice dinners with some awesome people so I guess that made up for the amount of time we spent at work and to forget the tiredness!

I'm sad tho... As it was someone I got to know quite wells last race with us. I was looking forward to more random explorations with him... But hopefully I'll catch him and his wife around the UK instead soon! Will just have to find random places at home instead!

So the week went by and we won the race with Lewis taking pole in quali and winning! Woohoo!
A good way to finish before the break!
We packed up in a massive rain shower and a few of us looked like we just stepped out of the shower with our clothes on.
We finally got finished at about 12:30 and relieved, all went back to the hotel. I went to McDonald's and had the intention of going straight to bed. On my way back, I bumped into a couple of the mechs who were telling me about a random cool bar earlier in the day... And they managed to persuade me to run upstairs get changed and go out. I'm glad I did as the place was nuts! When K told me there were rabbits across the ceiling, a big eagle thing with big boobs and you can drink in someone's bathroom I thought he was joking! It was like being in a massive house with weird random decorations everywhere. I felt like we'd walked into a random house party and we didn't know anyone!

A shot and a couple of drinks (I'm a cheap date) later we stumbled back to the hotel for an hours sleep and then got on the plane home. I was glad to be home! Since stepping into my house I haven't yet moved and have watched about 5 films. Thank god for Netflix!

Looking forward to finding random things to do in the UK for the next 5 weeks :) my next race is Singapore so I've got a while of no travelling again!







Monday, 16 July 2012

50 shades of perception

So... you may or may not admit it... but you've read 50 shades of Grey. I've read 2 books and am on the 3rd, in the space of a week.
Mummy porn? Really? I've found myself skipping over the usual "oh... please" monotonous scenes and getting to the story. I'm intrigued as to how this perfect man became who he is, and that's what's taken my interest. Since studying Media studies at college, I was taught to over analyse everything. I watch a film and analyse why that scene is how it is, what the colours on the screen portray, what hidden meaning every movement or action takes... 

I started reading it, sickened at the thought of who he may be, wondering why everyone was saying they wanted a man like him. Really? You want to sign a contract and live in the red room?
But now, I realise why. The man in the story is everyone's ideal. As for everyone, your past and your experiences make up who you are. That's probably what makes this book so appealing. It's fun to get lost in a book, reading about an ideal, which is usually just an ideal. That's what fiction books are aren't they?, a way to distract yourself and live someone else's story.

It is intriguing as to how this book has become such a phenomenon. I don't think it's because of the simple reason everyone thinks. Is it because of how one woman can change her prospective interest from what she doesn't want to what she does want? Is it because of how strong one woman can be when challenged against love and her fears? Is it because of one perfect man and the idealistic attitude of wanting that perfect man?

I think there are people who perceive this book in many ways. People have expectations of what they hear about it. They pick up the book with a certain expectation and then realise that their expectations were wrong, thus leading them to think the book is rubbish, because it doesn't involve what they thought it was going to. 

I don't really understand why this book has got my attention either. The last few months, my head has been distracted to the point that I haven't been able to read a book. I stare at pages not taking in the words and find my thoughts drifting elsewhere. But now, I am glued. I thank the author for giving me a way to escape from my thoughts!

I don't see this book as being exceptionally different to others. I guess it is just an escape from reality, although reality is what you make it. 
Everyone has 50 shades.... it's those 50 shades which make you interesting and unique. 

Strangely, I read this book and can relate to the main character. I've got to know someone recently who reminds me of him, actually it's not recent... I've thought it for a few years... Not in the BDSM way, but a man who held my attention and acted like no-one else I've ever met. Someone I thought was the "perfect" man. But reality strikes and being "perfect" is impossible. Perfection is based on perception. Ones perception makes perfection.





I-Scream

And so here begins the last half of this season.
It's nice to get back into it after having a few weeks away from it. I've discovered that I really am not one for sitting in an office, for sure!

I went to Germany last weekend to visit my friend before all the travelling began again. Here, I discovered spaghetti ice cream. New obsession. They have a lot of ice cream shops in Germany, we don't have them so much over here. You can pop into an ice cream shop for a coffee and a sundae... I'd be huge if I lived out there. Anyway, this spaghetti ice cream, is a plate of ice cream, which looks like a plate of spaghetti but is really ice cream shaped like spaghetti with a fruit sauce over the top and cream hidden away in the middle, with white chocolate sprinkles to look like parmesan. yum. My mission next week, if we have any time, is to find this again!




I was in Spain until yesterday for a few days. It was quite nice to be away from all the rain in England and be able to sit on the beach in the evenings and listen to the sea! Even at night, it was still hot! Ate lots of tapas and managed to avoid all salami sandwiches that were fed to us!
I'm off to Germany again tommorow, this time for work... feels weird to have to unpack and pack again.

I am currently occupying myself with thinking about lots of future adventures! Thinking of where to go next. It must seem like I am always on holiday, but due to the amount of holiday I have, I have to keep taking it when I can so it doesn't all build up and end up losing it! Also, I need to explore the world while I can too and it's my mission, while doing this job, to visit as many places as I can.

I've been thinking about the missed opportunities I've mentioned in the past... And I've tried to fix those recently, but failed. But at least I don't have any regrets anymore :) I can now say that I haven't missed any opportunities and have no regrets, and will not have anymore!

Just a short one for now.... Got lots of chilling to do today :)
I'm going to go make an apple tea and smile at the certain memories I have in my head.


“I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.” 

― Stanley Baldwin





Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Cycling down a road to nowhere...

So this is what normality is! I forgot for a while.
Since Canada I've worked normal hours. 8-5 mostly. You get evenings to do things, catch up with people, what an odd experience!! It's taken me a while to get used to. I'm used to working in a high pressure environment where things have to be done there and then, whatever time it is. I come back to normality where things are done at a normal pace and I find myself losing concentration. I've found it difficult working for 8 hours, sleeping for 8 hours and doing normal things. I still can't sleep. I'm constantly awake every few hours and it's driving me insane! I'm always tired!!!

Since buying a new bike in January, I used it once. But the last few weeks I've managed to cover about 70km. That's pretty good for me, who hasn't ridden a bike since buying one with the intention to cycle to uni on and letting it rust away while I got lazy and used my new found driving license and used it to the max!
I went out last week and went on an awesome ride around London. We managed to cover 25km, cycling around aimlessly from South Bank, to Billinsgsgate market to Tower bridge, even down Tottenham Court Road. Cycling down alleyways and side roads that I never knew existed and seeing parts of London that I want to explore further. I've managed to get 5 punctures over the last few weeks... but at least now I know how to fix one and I have much better tyres for the road now! :)

It's been nice to catch up with my friends that I have managed to catch up with once every so often in the few days that I'm usually back. It's nice to see them knowing that I'm not flying away again the next day and being able to chill and chat and not have to worry about anything! Also getting to know people who I never got the chance to see a lot before.

I feel like I'm stuck in a middle place at the moment. It's nice to have normality and a set routine, and a life, but then all the while, I've got used to the constant travelling, pressure and working with a load of boys! I'm not sure where my head is in all of this and yet again, I notice myself being irrational about the slightest things. Is it impatience or is it rational. Who knows. I'm still trying to work something in my life out and sometimes I wonder if I need to just let it go or continue working it out. No point in throwing away the last 5 months I guess, or is it 2 years. I'm still not sure how to work it out but I'm hoping it works itself out somehow.
I've got another week and a bit before I'm off on a plane again. I'm intrigued to see how my head is with travelling again and whether I find it easier now I've remembered what normality is, or if it's harder.

Someone on Twitter recently sent me a picture of myself in the 2011 McLaren photobook. HOW weird! It was quite a shock to look back 5 years and remember where I was, to now see myself over a centrefold of a book of where I wanted to be. Still seems like a massive whirlwind came along and I've been swept along without realising what's happening. It's been a difficult year but completely worth the experience of what I've learnt and experienced along the way. It's made me look at things very differently and every day I'm learning more and more about my job and myself. I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things in Germany and Hungary and then making our way around Asia. Yay, I get to fill my suitcase up with sweets in Japan again and chill out in Singapore :)

I wonder where the next year will take me. Where I'm going to be this time next year. Not just in my job, as I'll probably be in a garage in Silverstone, but in life.



“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out they way they're supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.” 
― Goldie Hawn













Wednesday, 13 June 2012

A normal days work...

I've been back in the UK for almost 2 weeks now. HOW can I still be tired.
I think that for the last year, I've had hardly any time to relax let alone think, and now when I do finally have some time away from it all I can't handle it! It's been weird.
I have been training another person to do my job for the last 5 months so that we can start rotating races and getting things done in the factory while the other person is out taking the stress! This has now taken effect which means for the last week and a half I have been working at MTC rather than across the world somewhere. It's been strange being back here. I supported Canada from the factory, time shifting so that I am at work the same time that the guys are at the circuit. This hasn't helped with my body clock at all! It's been quite difficult to be able to hear everything that's going on in the garage on the radio in Canada and having to sit and be limited in what I can do to help. It's also been interesting to see what goes on back at the factory while we are at the track. Mission Control is an interesting place. More goes on in here than I thought.
So this week, I'm back on normal hours. well, kind of! A few days off here and there to try to get rid of the accruing holidays I have! It's been raining alllllll week but today, on my day off it's nice and sunny! Woohoo!

I've been thinking about posting a new blog post for a while but I've been a bit distracted by something, and I didn't want to end up writing pages and pages on the distraction so had to wait until I could get that out of my head and think of something normal to write! It's a good distraction, but something I need to work out because right now, it's taking up a lot of my head space and I need to work out what it really is. I guess I know what it is and it's something I've never had to deal with before... I just need to get things straight, I'm just not sure how to go about doing that yet.

Having time away from the constant pressure of being away makes you think in a totally different way. I've found my thoughts drifting and realise my irrationalness a lot more. The good thing is, I now have time to realise it and to change it. Being in an environment where everything has to be done yesterday and then coming back to normality where everything is being done tommorow, messes with your head. I guess it's a case of putting things into perspective and prioritising your thoughts. I have to keep readjusting where my head is.
It's going to be quite nice to be able to wake up at normal times and drive into work and do a normal day in an office. Only so long until I get twitchy feet again though and need to get out and about!

I've joined the gym at work again and intend on getting my underused bike out and using this time to get fit again. Since being back I keep eating cakes and soon will end up needing 2 seats on a plane instead of 1. hahaha

Also, I have weekends at home, so I can go exploring again! I've tried to sort my camera lens out so that I can go and take pictures without black blobs all over my pictures... hopefully! I've been searching for random things to do while I can and have found quite a lot of interesting things. Being away from the UK makes me appreciate my surroundings when I'm home and look around locally to see what I can do instead of jumping on a plane to get to a beach. Although Iceland is still in my head and the impatient part of me wants to get there NOW! But I have other reasons for that too... I want to fulfill an ongoing image, if it can be called that, which is in my head and my heart.

Bring on the weekend!


The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.
  
~Henry Miller




Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Travelling without moving

I think I should have been born a traveller... I can't stop thinking about where to go next... and I've only just got back from holiday...
I have 3 races off now.. in the sense that I am not flying out to any countries, but I will be working at the factory time shifted to wherever the rest of my team are. My time shifting starts tomorrow, which still means I can't catch up with my friends now that I'm back as by the time they finish work, I'll be going into work!
Therefore I'll spend my free time dreaming about where I'm going to next... still have Iceland in my head. I wonder when the best time to go there is.

So, I've just been to Spain for a week. Cheap and cheerful holiday. I have never been on a holiday before where I just sit around in the sun allllllllll day and jump into the pool when I get too hot... then back on the sunbed to chill (or, burn) some more and that's about it. I think being in a job where you are constantly on the move, teaches you to be able to sit down and do nothing when you can! So I was quite happy doing that this week. But I did learn something... that I can't go on a cheap and cheerful holiday again. I need to find remote places which aren't taken over by English people, where there is some culture and different foods to try. Places that you can see amazing sights that you would never be able to see in England and experience things that you can't experience at home, as well as having time to sit on a beautiful (quiet!) beach and take in the scenery and go through your thoughts without the shouts of "Waterpolo at 10:30, Come and join us"  and drunk people in the night banging on hotel room doors shouting "let me innnnn" disturbing the peace.

The rest of my team have now got on a plane and are in Canada. It feels kind of weird to not be with them. But I'm glad in a way that I get some time to sort my stuff out back here and do what I need to back at the factory for the first time since I started my job a year ago. Also catch up on new faces at MTC and catch up with people I used to work with, who I haven't spoken to for months! My next GP is Germany, so am looking forward to a bit of normality (if there is any, in this job!) before I fly out again. Hopefully I'll get a bit of time to catch up with friends too! I've decided not to go to Silverstone this year as I work in the environment every week. I don't really feel like going camping now to go and watch our car go around the circuit from the middle of a field behind a wire fence. If I'm not covering that race from MTC I might try to get away on a long weekend somewhere.. :)

My mind is constantly travelling lately. In all senses of the word!  I'm all over the place! Lots going on in my head with work and life in general. Hopefully in the next few weeks I can straighten things out while I have time to and understand what's going on in my roller coaster world right now! :) It's allll good though. All good things which are happening, I think... just can't get my head around something.. but I will :)

Now back to chilling and catching up on Desperate Housewives episodes :)
Blackberry is charged ready for any calls from Canada and am ready to go back to work to get back on it tommorow!



You don't have to promise me the moon or stars . . . just promise that you will stand under them with me.
Author Unknown










Thursday, 31 May 2012

Sun, sea, sand and Uh huh huhhhh

I'm going to take you on a little journey... To where myself and my friend Natalie Natawee 'perma-pants' are now...

So, close your eyes and journey to the beach with me... (actually don't close your eyes because then you can't read :)) we're at Gatwick airport... I've just handed my car keys over to some random to go and park my car, which I booked on the Internet. For all I know, I could have just given some man a very nice present. I hope I have a car to get back from the airport! If not, someone will be getting a phone call from us at 3am on Monday morning.

Checking in and our 10kg hand luggage is over weight.. Good start... Now we have to check them in! Oh well they didn't charge us the £28 to check luggage in so all good. Charging to check bags in, what is that?! Are they going to start charging us to walk to the plane and opening the door for us soon?

Monarch airlines wasn't as bad as easyjet though, noone attempted to sell us anything and no scratch cards involved.

A few hours later we arrive in Palma and a few more hours later and we arrive at our hotel, after driving round dropping others off on a coach thinking 'please don't let ours be this one...'

Checked into our room... The smallest room in the world, a double bed and not much else...not even any space.
We walked straight out and got our room changed. Now we have 3 beds :) Still no TV tho... Oh well...

Now I'll involve you in our entertainment. Picture a dark hall, old 70's style fake velvet sofas and arm chairs, a room full of tattoos and people from t'up North.
Then Spanish Elvis comes on stage...
Olaaaaa uh huh huhhhhh
I'm not a big drinker, but this week, I have discovered Apple schnapps and am enjoying lots of it, in plastic cups.

Ok you can open your eyes now.
I'm making it sound worse than it is.
We came away for a cheapie holiday away from everything and to sit by a pool/beach and do nothing. And that's what we've got.

I'm currently writing this from besides the pool, listening to the sea and boats and eating ice cream. Our supply of ice cream is endless :)
The sun is blaring down. It's 5pm and its still HOT.
I've been for a walk over to the cliffs on the other side, a sudden burst of energy yesterday and we'll be exploring the beach tommorow. The water is so clear, it looks amazing.

For now, we're going to continue chilling, doing absolutely nothing but chatting and taking in the sun and eating ice cream.

Next act on stage is Natalie with a special dance rendition of "I like big butts". She has been rehearsing all week. I hope she wins a lanyard.

(and for anyone who thinks I'm serious, I'm not... Have to clarify that because she is going to kill me for writing it... ;) )

Laters alligators :)








Sunday, 20 May 2012

Apple tea and singing in the rain...

We have arrived in Monaco!
It's been raining alllllll day and it's pretty miserable here. Glad I got to spend a day in the sun back home yesterday!
We left home at 4am and came into work to meet the guys who got here yesterday and continued with putting the garage up. Always takes a while in Monaco due to the lack of space, so we're shoe horning all of our stuff in to the small space we have! All soaked, but in a few days everything will be up and running and ready to gooooo!

Anyway, yesterday I went to the queens jubilee parade at Windsor castle. Drove in early to get a parking space and walked down the long walk to get a good view for the fly past. Which is what I went for! I don't know what any of the planes are, but I like looking at them. Especially the Red Arrows. Love them! We waited agggggges for the planes but it was worth it in the end, and it was good to chill and chat over cold coffee and cake while waiting! I've now got that fun day in my head to keep me going for the week. I need to sort my SLR out as I haven't used it in a year and I've forgotten how to use it properly! Better get out taking more photos soon, and get the lens cleaned! :)

I'm still absolutely shattered so having an early night in my huge hotel bed, watching friends and drinking apple tea :) lots of distractions in my head at the moment. Whether they are good or bad, I'm not sure... life's pretty confusing at times hey... One day everything will click into place :) Better get my head back into IT mode!

On another note, had a message from the female GP3 race driver, Alice. Made me think about what her journey to where she is now has been like and hope she gets high up on the grid and shows them that it's not just a man's game :)

Back to Friends and my tea which is getting cold!

Hopefully this week can be a 1-2 week... We certainly need it to be!!! :)

Friday, 18 May 2012

Is it a Secret? My random ramblings....

It's weird being home for more than a few days. I'm knackered!!! Can't seem to get over the tiredness this week for some reason! Been back at MTC getting ready for Monaco...Now we are all set and ready to go!

Now on a different note, do you believe in fate or does life bring you what you go out looking for and set your mind to? That's what I'm pondering on at the moment. Random, I know!
Have you ever had something where the same thing keeps popping up out of the blue, and little things keep reminding you of that, without even doing anything... strange. Fate is an odd thing. It's like when you look for something, you can never find it. It's when you're not looking for it, it appears from nowhere in an obvious place.
I read the book "The Secret" a while back. It's about the laws of attraction. Not attraction in the sense of relationships, but attracting positive and negative energy. Usually I'm a total cynic about stuff like this and in a way, I still am. But I do wonder whether there is any truth in it. Otherwise, why write it.
I do believe though that you attract positivity or negativity. Even more so after reading this book. Therefore I am sending everyone positive energy, because the more positive you are, about anything, the more positive energy you attract and the happier you are! I sound like someone into all the mystical magical hippy type things, when I'm really not. Just having some strange thoughts recently and trying to work out my confused mind! Or maybe I'm just tired, and really need to get some sleep! haha

On another note, to do with photography, a few years back, I found websites on urban exploration. It's all about finding derelict places and photographing them. I went to an old derelict asylum which has been derelict since the early 90's. It's one of the strangest thing I have ever seen or experienced.
The massive building was all blocked up, except for a few holes here and there, and everything inside was left how it was. As if everyone occupying it just upped and left one day. We found medicines and packets which had sell by dates of 1987, old TVs, cassette tape recorders, old documentation and reels of negatives. Walking through the long corridors in the hospital, with the paint peeling off the ceilings and walls were eerie and I couldn't sleep that night thinking about what I'd seen and imagining what it may have been like 20 years ago. It was interesting though and thinking about it again recently has made me want to look up urban exploration again and find more interesting sites to go and explore and photograph.
I'm dusting off my proper camera again tommorow to go and photograph boring things and make them interesting... hopefully! :)








“What is important is to spread confusion, not eliminate it.” 
― Salvador Dalí








Monday, 14 May 2012

Home and thoughtful...

Yay we are home again :)
It's been a strange week. I don't even feel like I was in Spain about 6 hours ago! Getting on a plane to Barcelona feels more like a bus journey than getting on a plane, I've done it so many times!

I've just been looking at photos and articles on the fire yesterday. It's quite emotional looking at the photos. Seeing guys I recognise looking quite distressed and realising what one small flame can cause.
I came out of our truck yesterday wondering why everything was so smoky outside. I looked toward the other end of the paddock and saw black smoke bellowing out but didn't know where it was coming from. I walked out to the front of the garage to find out and saw some of our guys running back with empty fire extinguishers, coughing and looking pretty dazed. We could hardly see past the Ferrari garage with all the smoke in the paddock.
I've seen a few comments about the camaraderie between teams. And although F1 is about racing and competing against each other, when I first started I was surprised at the friendliness between teams. We are all there for the same reason, doing the same job and I think there is a sense of neutral thinking that goes on. We often catch the same flights as various other teams and it's almost like seeing the same friends at the airport week in week out!
Although the photographs I am looking at are of horrendous scenes, they are, as people are saying, also nice photos of how everyone in the paddock are able to help each other out and it's nice to know I work in such an environment. I wish I wasn't looking at photos like this to realise it though.
It's such a shame that this happened and Williams couldn't celebrate their victory as they should have been able to. I hope they will recover from it quickly and be on top form for Monaco again! I'm sure they will! :)

Barcelona is one of my lesser favourite races, because I have been there so many times Testing! At least the sun was out though and life is all about learning from mistakes. I think that's a lesson with everything! I know i've made mistakes in the past and I look back and realise how far i've come because of them. Not just in a work sense but personally.

Now that I have a few days back in the UK I'm going to make the most out of using my new mountain bike and planning fun things to do with the rest of my year! (when i'm not working!)

First things first... Iceland... I'm going to be researching this for a while :) I've still got the tent by a lake image  constantly stuck in my head and I need to do it so that my image can be replaced with a new one!








Saturday, 12 May 2012

Where's the Paella?

Currently sat at the hotel waiting for the others.
It's been a long week. I've felt shattered this week for some reason.
Finished early last night and it was nice to chill by the pool, not that I got in, too cold! But I could sit by it and pretend I was by the sea!

We heard the news about Lewis being put to the back after we got back yesterday. A disappointment but I guess that's the game we're in. If there wasn't ups and downs it wouldn't be a race and it wouldn't be exciting for viewers! Just a shame we got put allllll the way to the back!!!

There isn't a lot to do around here, not that we've had much time to explore! Went to a Chinese restaurant on the first night in a local town. Was quite nice, a change from pizza or croquettes at the hotel!
Nice views of the circuit and the area around us tho as we're on the top of a hill.

It'll be interesting to see what happens today. It's been a mix of podiums all season and it's good to see that the finger isn't pointing at number 1 every week :)

Now, let's go racing! Bring it on!!!
Oh and no sign of rain, a sunny sky this morning!


The sky last night... half an amazing sunset, half totally black!

Saturday, 5 May 2012

My travel list...

Since going to Malaysia, learning how to smile lots and talking to someone about the many places I want to visit, I'm making a list of places I want to go to and the reasons. For myself really so I don't forget and so I can cross them off as I go along. Therefore I'll be frequently updating this page as I go along and find new experiences and new places to add! I also hope to photograph these places and make photo books of my journeys to look back on. If anyone has any stories of any of these places, I'd love to hear them.

So here we go...

1) Iceland
I want to be surrounded by snow and ice. Even camp in the middle of nowhere in the freezing cold, staring at the stars and the haze on the sky from the cold climates, sitting by a blazing fire. I've also wanted to see the northern lights, so hopefully I can catch this while there too. I want to go to the blue lagoon and go into hot baths while the air outside is freezing. I also want to find an Ice hotel. But for this one, I want to find someone to take with me.. could get quite cold alone ;)

2) Cambodia
I've recently found a site which has amazing photos of the temples of Angkor Wat. I now want to visit these and take photos of my own. I want to experience the culture and explore a country I have no idea about.
http://exploreangkorwat.com/angkor-wat

3) Morroco/Marrakech
I see photos of markets filled with spices, wooden huts with carpets and candles to chill out on and another completely different culture. The scenery, (yes, I know someone will be saying, "you? Scenery?") interests me and I think this could be an amazing place to photograph.

4) Hawaii
I've always had an obsession with Hawaii. I want to wear a hula skirt and chill on the beach with a cocktail. I don't want to go to any commercial places. I want to see the islands of Hawaii and the culture that goes with them. Sitting in the forests singing and dancing with the natives with my fire torch. Also I hear a lot that I could be Hawaiian. So it would be interesting to go to a place where everyone looks like me. Maybe I'll finally find a place where I fit in?

5) Canada
I've been to Canada once, last year, with work. My impression of Canada is a city, with huge burgers and Steak and Lobster, as well as an F1 circuit. After speaking to a friend about it and reading about it, I see there is a lot more to it. I need to go and see the mountains, polar bears and drive through Canada exploring what it has to change my impression of it just being a commercialised city like anywhere else.

6) Thailand
One of my best friends is from Thailand. I love her cooking and I want to go there and stuff my face. When taking time out from eating, I'd like to see the islands, the culture and walk around the markets. As well as see the hussle and bussle of Bangkok. Orrus Wasana Auby, I appoint you as my personal tour guide ;) And when I'm too fat to walk any further I intend to check out the beautiful beaches and relax.

7) America
I've only been to Vegas... and that was for 4 days. I've never been so drunk in my life, I even managed to last a night in the highest heels ever.. and for those who know me, that's an achievement....
America has never really interested me as much as other places have. But I would like to do the whole drive around America thing and visit some proper hill billy towns on the way. Would have to stop off at Universal Studios too and eat lots of giant cakes :)

8) Poland/Germany/Brittany
Ok, I'm merging these 3 places as I have listed them for a reason. I have a weird obsession with war. I can't list off facts and figures or tell you much about the war but stories from those times interest me. It amazes me what people went through for us to get to where we are and what they had to suffer for it. Also the mentality of some people and how they dictated. It makes me sad, but at the same time I want to learn more about it. Strange I know...

9) Japan
Being half Japanese, I want to learn more about where half of my family is from. I've never really explored Japan but I know there are several places which are culturally different from each other and from what I've ever experienced. I want to find out more about the other half of me.

10) Peru
I want to do the Inca Trail and see the breath taking sights on the way. I don't want to try the local delicacy of gerbil, but I want to experience every other bit of their culture!

11) Brazil
I want to go and dance in the streets of Rio. I love south american style dancing and music and would love to go out there and be a part of it. Notting Hill just doesn't cut it :)
I went to Brazil last year too with work. I think there is more to it than fast cars, over dosing on meat and Senna's grave.

12) THE Island
I am in search of the perfect island. Previously in my head this was the Maldives. But I think I can find somewhere even more amazing. I don't want a luxury hotel on an all inclusive island eating a full English breakfast. I want to be out in the open, roasting marshmallows, spending time with my soul mate and appreciating the sunset and the sound of the sea. This is my hardest destination as I have a number of things to find before I can find this one. One day I'll find it though...



“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” 
 St. Augustine