I am a hoarder.... And it is now time to get rid of the rubbish I've kept over the years, thinking that I can't throw them away or I'll use them again someday. Who am I kidding...no I won't. How old am I? 13? Keeping hold of my Japanese eraser collection, the hundreds of cheap make up, plastic jewellery, books....they all now need to go.
Have you ever had a massive clear out? Do you know the feeling of when you start clearing and sorting through things and suddenly your room looks like a bombs hit it... You can't walk on the floor, your bed is covered in a mountain so high of clothes that you could ski down it.... And then you hit a point where you don't know what to do with it all and the thought of sorting through it is unbearable so you sit there and procrastinate... That's what I'm doing now.... Playing pointless games on my ipad, thinking of where I can go and take some photos....eating, for the sake of eating to pass time... Texting my friends to tell them what I'm doing... Hmmm what else can I do to buy a few more minutes :)
But once I've got over my procrastinating and get back on it...hopefully my room will be clean and won't be filled with clutter! Another step toward making my life clutter free. In my room and my mind!
I bought some new lenses for my camera this week. I haven't picked up my camera and taken any creative photos for what feels like a few years. That's my next mission. To pick that up again. I can't wait to go out and see what these lenses can do! Going to get on the urban exploring path again and find weird and wonderful places to explore!
On another note, I started helping at the local theatre again. We're rehearsing a play called Violette which was written by the director. It's a very emotional play about a girl during WW2. I'm prompting and photographing :) I was away working for the auditions, but maybe next time I'll find some confidence to actually audition again! Can't wait to see the play come together, and I hope I can capture the emotion in photographs for memories for the cast and to promote the show.
I suppose I'd better get back to de-cluttering..... That's enough procrastinating... For now :)
Friday, 19 April 2013
Sunday, 7 April 2013
Serious subject no.1: Bullying
Bullying can be defined to so many different opinions. One may think bullying is funny and just a joke, one may think others deserve it, one may intentionally try to hurt another....
It's not funny.
I've watched so many YouTube videos lately on various subjects. When you watch a video, related videos pop up and you end up watching random videos on random subjects... Now bullying is one that I found disturbing.
There seems to be so many people that feel bullied which lead them to have suicidal thoughts, lack self esteem and self confidence. And I bet the people don't realise that this is how they're words and actions make other people feel. We are all the same human beings. Why should one person think they are more intelligent than another, more good looking than another, think that in any way they are better than another...
Words can hurt. You may not think that your one sentence can hurt that other person... You may think that you're just joking...but how do you know how the other person is going to take what you are saying. Maybe they have other issues in their life and your words relate to them. Don't say things to other people that you wouldn't like if they said it to you. Think before you speak.
I think bullying can depend on the person. You can take people's words how you want to. Some may be able to ignore them, disregard it...others may be affected by them.
I see teenagers and adults on YouTube, crying out for help.... Some threatening to end their life and others who have ended their life. Because of words said to them by someone else. This is unacceptable. Why should someone be made to feel like that. Alienated and bullied to the point that they want to take their life. It's not a sign of weakness... It's how people have made them feel. If you're constantly told you are useless, worthless, no one will ever want you, no one wants to be your friend... You start to believe it. Especially if you are young and impressionable.
I wish I could do something to stop things like this happening but I can't. Life is full of this and for some reason, there is always a problem with race, weight, height, gender, sex and sometimes...no reason. Just because people have been bullied themselves they feel the need to bully other people. I think bullies usually have their own insecurities and have to hurt someone else to make themselves feel a better person. This is wrong.
I think we all have words we regret saying to someone else... But realise it and/or fix it. No one should have to feel bullied for no reason. Every person has the same feelings and we are all the same human beings.
I hope that the people I have heard about realise how strong they are and that through all the things they experience, they will become stronger and a better person than the nasty people who hurt them.
Can't we live a life where everyone can be nice to each other?
It's not funny.
I've watched so many YouTube videos lately on various subjects. When you watch a video, related videos pop up and you end up watching random videos on random subjects... Now bullying is one that I found disturbing.
There seems to be so many people that feel bullied which lead them to have suicidal thoughts, lack self esteem and self confidence. And I bet the people don't realise that this is how they're words and actions make other people feel. We are all the same human beings. Why should one person think they are more intelligent than another, more good looking than another, think that in any way they are better than another...
Words can hurt. You may not think that your one sentence can hurt that other person... You may think that you're just joking...but how do you know how the other person is going to take what you are saying. Maybe they have other issues in their life and your words relate to them. Don't say things to other people that you wouldn't like if they said it to you. Think before you speak.
I think bullying can depend on the person. You can take people's words how you want to. Some may be able to ignore them, disregard it...others may be affected by them.
I see teenagers and adults on YouTube, crying out for help.... Some threatening to end their life and others who have ended their life. Because of words said to them by someone else. This is unacceptable. Why should someone be made to feel like that. Alienated and bullied to the point that they want to take their life. It's not a sign of weakness... It's how people have made them feel. If you're constantly told you are useless, worthless, no one will ever want you, no one wants to be your friend... You start to believe it. Especially if you are young and impressionable.
I wish I could do something to stop things like this happening but I can't. Life is full of this and for some reason, there is always a problem with race, weight, height, gender, sex and sometimes...no reason. Just because people have been bullied themselves they feel the need to bully other people. I think bullies usually have their own insecurities and have to hurt someone else to make themselves feel a better person. This is wrong.
I think we all have words we regret saying to someone else... But realise it and/or fix it. No one should have to feel bullied for no reason. Every person has the same feelings and we are all the same human beings.
I hope that the people I have heard about realise how strong they are and that through all the things they experience, they will become stronger and a better person than the nasty people who hurt them.
Can't we live a life where everyone can be nice to each other?
2013, depression vs happiness
2013 has not been a barrel of laughs. I think this year has tested me and broke me and will finally make me.
I thought my year was going to be different. I had a new job back in the office and thought things were going to be more chilled out. I had a number of things happen to me lately which tested me but although sometimes I felt that I'd never recover from it, I have and I will. Things happen in life to make us stronger and I needed these changes to make me realise who I was and to really make me think about things.
Then I found myself in Australia....AGAIN. I did two races and now I can settle back into having a normal life. My life in racing is over and I am very happy that I achieved what I wanted to but I am now ready for new challenges and want to put those experiences behind me.
Depression is misunderstood. A lot of people think being depressed is just being sad... Until you've been through it you never know how it actually feels. It's a horrible disease that eats away at you and just because you're depressed it doesn't mean you're weak. To recognise it and do something about it means you're strong. I've looked at many a video on YouTube lately and I am horrified at the amount of people suffering and it pains me that I can't do anything about it. My next blog is going to be about some of the issues I've come across, because although the issues don't directly affect me, I want people to be aware of the things that happen.
I've been through depression and I needed it to make me realise who I am and who I want to be. I became lost because of many reasons which I chose to ignore until they broke me...but things always come back and bite you in the assss. Now I'm learning to deal with things, change myself for the better and be the person that I want to be. At times like these you also realise who really cares about you. I'm so grateful to a few people for showing me this and for helping me piece my life together to allow me to write this without falling apart. You know who you are, and I love you.
The last year has been full of ups and downs. Working in the job I was in, isn't the most healthy lifestyle to be in. Although it sounds glamorous, you have to be pretty strong to deal with it. It broke relationships around me, I lost who I was and I was never at home. It was hard sometimes, physically and emotionally. I'm not saying this happens to everyone. This is only related to me personally. I can't comment how it is for others.
But as I said, I shut the door on that chapter and now I'm moving onto the next. I have a lot of new challenges to face and I'm excited at the responsibility and the opportunities that lie ahead. My outlook on my work life has changed dramatically in just a week. I am now looking forward to Mondays... I'm looking forward to learning new things. I work best being thrown into the deep end, where I work as hard as I can to swim out of it and that's exactly what I'm now doing...and I'm enjoying it!
Happiness is what you make of it. What is happiness? Money? Friends? Love? Work?
For me it's none of those things. It's me. All those things play a part in finding happiness, but the main thing is what is inside me. My heart and my soul. If I can be happy with myself, then other things are an added bonus to make me even happier. I want to be the perfect person that I can be, without hurting anyone with unkind words or actions, I want people to know who I am before they judge me and hurt me, i want to love myself and show other people why. I've made mistakes and I've learnt a lot from them. I won't be making the same mistake twice.
Now, if you ever suffer from depression, don't think that you are alone. You're not. Some people will help you and stick by you, others will disappear...but it only makes you realise who is meant to be in your life. Talk to people, don't hide your feelings like I did and pretend to be ok. Deal with the problems and get over it to move on. If you need to, seek medical help. There's lots out there and this is a good site for advice...even if you're not unhappy. It can't hurt to build on positive emotions and cognitive behaviour and therapy has always interested me:
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk
Keep smiling and think positive :)
I thought my year was going to be different. I had a new job back in the office and thought things were going to be more chilled out. I had a number of things happen to me lately which tested me but although sometimes I felt that I'd never recover from it, I have and I will. Things happen in life to make us stronger and I needed these changes to make me realise who I was and to really make me think about things.
Then I found myself in Australia....AGAIN. I did two races and now I can settle back into having a normal life. My life in racing is over and I am very happy that I achieved what I wanted to but I am now ready for new challenges and want to put those experiences behind me.
Depression is misunderstood. A lot of people think being depressed is just being sad... Until you've been through it you never know how it actually feels. It's a horrible disease that eats away at you and just because you're depressed it doesn't mean you're weak. To recognise it and do something about it means you're strong. I've looked at many a video on YouTube lately and I am horrified at the amount of people suffering and it pains me that I can't do anything about it. My next blog is going to be about some of the issues I've come across, because although the issues don't directly affect me, I want people to be aware of the things that happen.
I've been through depression and I needed it to make me realise who I am and who I want to be. I became lost because of many reasons which I chose to ignore until they broke me...but things always come back and bite you in the assss. Now I'm learning to deal with things, change myself for the better and be the person that I want to be. At times like these you also realise who really cares about you. I'm so grateful to a few people for showing me this and for helping me piece my life together to allow me to write this without falling apart. You know who you are, and I love you.
The last year has been full of ups and downs. Working in the job I was in, isn't the most healthy lifestyle to be in. Although it sounds glamorous, you have to be pretty strong to deal with it. It broke relationships around me, I lost who I was and I was never at home. It was hard sometimes, physically and emotionally. I'm not saying this happens to everyone. This is only related to me personally. I can't comment how it is for others.
But as I said, I shut the door on that chapter and now I'm moving onto the next. I have a lot of new challenges to face and I'm excited at the responsibility and the opportunities that lie ahead. My outlook on my work life has changed dramatically in just a week. I am now looking forward to Mondays... I'm looking forward to learning new things. I work best being thrown into the deep end, where I work as hard as I can to swim out of it and that's exactly what I'm now doing...and I'm enjoying it!
Happiness is what you make of it. What is happiness? Money? Friends? Love? Work?
For me it's none of those things. It's me. All those things play a part in finding happiness, but the main thing is what is inside me. My heart and my soul. If I can be happy with myself, then other things are an added bonus to make me even happier. I want to be the perfect person that I can be, without hurting anyone with unkind words or actions, I want people to know who I am before they judge me and hurt me, i want to love myself and show other people why. I've made mistakes and I've learnt a lot from them. I won't be making the same mistake twice.
Now, if you ever suffer from depression, don't think that you are alone. You're not. Some people will help you and stick by you, others will disappear...but it only makes you realise who is meant to be in your life. Talk to people, don't hide your feelings like I did and pretend to be ok. Deal with the problems and get over it to move on. If you need to, seek medical help. There's lots out there and this is a good site for advice...even if you're not unhappy. It can't hurt to build on positive emotions and cognitive behaviour and therapy has always interested me:
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk
Keep smiling and think positive :)
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