So at 6:30am on Xmas morning I got in my car and drove to London Bridge to start my day as Entertainment Organiser for Crisis at Christmas. A centre for the homeless which opens all over London over the Xmas period. My friend told me about it a few years ago and I've wanted to take part for a while... I just never gave up my stuffing, sausage meat and gravy...until now.
So I arrived at the centre, completely out of my comfort zone, worried about what I'd volunteered to do. I'm not exactly the most confident of people...so facing a load of new people and having to entertain people who don't have homes to go to... How do I do that?!!! With my scintillating conversation and outgoing bubbly personality...ermmm I think not.
One of the reasons I wanted to do this is because of the above. Challenging myself to do something I'm not comfortable with is only going to help me.... So being forced to randomly talk to people I'd never thought to talk to before, striking up conversations with people from all walks of life was challenging but a great eye opener.
So....my first hour consisted of being daunted. If that's not a real word, it is now. Taking in what was going on around me.... People hanging around, watching TV, sitting, pondering, staring, talking.... I stood on the sideline for a bit and watched. My thoughts were "how am I going to entertain these people".... I had no idea what so ever. But hang on, before that, I'm going to have to engage with them to get them to come with me to be entertained... That means going over and speaking...about what... Totally out of my comfort zone .... Totally.
Thankfully there was another volunteer who knew what she was doing. She told me how things work there and I realised I've got to stop sitting on the sideline and do something... So I started making posters to show what activities we had planned for the day. A volunteer singer/guitarist, Bingo, Jewellery making and Karaoke. Sitting making the posters a few passers by stopped to see what we were doing. "Are you creative? Come and help me!" I said, and from then on my comfort zone barrier slipped away as guests helped to make posters and chatted. These people may be homeless but why am I so intimidated. They are a human being just like me. No different. I realised, although I don't judge, I was intimidated by people, stereotyping homeless, to what I've experienced before. Usually drunk people hanging around in groups, sometimes shouting out. But so what. Everyone has a right to express their opinion. It may not be right but who cares. As long as you're not hurting someone. You know what, today on my 2nd shift. I was one of the group. I sat outside in a circle with 5 homeless guests, chatting...and realised, I'm sitting in a group that I was once intimidated by. I imagined seeing myself if I walked past, in that situation. I never thought I would see that. My stereotype or rather my intimidation was wrong. I sat with 5 others today, having a laugh, finding out about the past and present, arranging to do karaoke together...just like anyone else would. What a strange situation to find myself in. I got nicknamed "eyes" because I have 'Chinese' eyes and got hugged for chatting and having normal conversation.
I can't really describe my thoughts right now as it's still processing. Once I've finished my shifts I'll try to put my thoughts into words...
The rest of the days went on with organising activities/entertainment for the guests. In the food area, we started karaoke. The guests watched us dubiously at first. And there's me, who won't sing in front of anyone, draw attention to myself at any cost...singing and dancing to try to get the guys up with us.
A few of the guys edged toward us, sitting in front of us singing quietly under their breaths. So I handed them the mic... "Nooooo" they protested. Clutching the mics, 10 mins later their lovely voices got louder. 20 mins later they were standing up. 30 mins later we had 4 guests singing and dancing. It was so lovely to see smiles on their faces, enjoying themselves. I stepped away at one point and watched from afar. My thoughts were lost with emotion. I wish I could do something to give these guys better lives. To have a home to go to and make something of their lives. Which I, and they, know they can.
I made my karaoke star an origami balloon today with "X the Karaoke king" written on it. I was happy to see he sat with it in front of him for most of the day :) Tomorrow I'm going to find him for a duet of Angels.
I'm tired now... I have one more shift tomorrow and although at times I've been dubious about going to Crisis, I'll miss seeing some of the great people I've met. I'd love to know how they all get on and hope Crisis helped them to see that they are amazing people just like everyone else and they CAN do anything they want....
I'll write more when my last shifts done... Hopefully before my next shift next Xmas :)
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